... And I'm back!
Last month I took a break from (mostly) all things social media all and ended up giving WML a bit of a rejig in the process. In that time I gave myself the space and time I believed was needed to truly assess what I thought was missing when it came to what I was publishing on here. For a while things felt mechanical and too similar. I and my blog were stagnant, complacent even, and I wanted that to change.
I found myself forever battling between what I want to achieve and what I thought I could not achieve and slowly found myself carving a permanent spot for myself on the sidelines, watching others attain goal after goal. Jealousy, fear, shame and guilt were never out of reach. Slipping further away from the realm of possibility and positivity and solidifying my stance beside the gates of reluctance and laziness is, sadly, an act I am all too familiar with. This Sunday just gone, we were singing a song at church and one of the lines was 'I am no longer a slave of fear' and then it hit me (again): Fear had made me its b*itch or rather, I had allowed fear to make me its b*itch.
Have you ever thought that you were your own worst enemy? I do, constantly. I highly doubt that this is healthy but I am trying change that. Although I am not doing that as fast as I would like, I can take some comfort in knowing I am not a complacent zombie, oblivious to the fact that I am the one standing in my own way. Last month only gave me further proof that hiding in the shadows does not get me anywhere and neither does buying all the tools in the world and never using them.
And so here I am: stepping off the sidelines, swaying towards the realm of possibility and positivity, coming out of the shadows and in the process of taking flight towards the goals I have set. Failure is something I have always feared (and still do) but I am warming up to the fact that failure is part of what makes the journey worthwhile and is nothing to be feared; within those soul-crushing moments lies treasure troves of knowledge that will leave us better prepared for our next attempt. And this post serves as a promise I have made to myself - to keep on trying, daily. And no, that does not mean I will be posting daily.
So, what does this mean for WML? Well, eventually I am hoping it means that WML will, as always, serve as evidence of my growth - a somewhat detailed html version of my flight path. I will very much still be blogging about films and TV shows and plays and books - I highly doubt that will ever change - but over on my 'As It Unfolds' page, I will be sharing more personal posts and revealling some of my personal projects to aid my mission to break free from my fears one at a time. I can confidently say that writing a blog post again is incredibly satisfying and I cannot wait to take it to the next level at my own pace and in my own way...
Who knows, maybe he's right.