LIFE EDIT: JUNE
And we did it! We have reached the half way point of 2015 and boy did it roll around fast. June has been nothing if not overwhelming, for me at least. Yes, that is the word I would use to describe this month that started off with okay weather and then ended with some of the hottest days we've had in a long time. I cannot even truly remember all that happened in this past few weeks but I will try my best to share with you what I do remember. Let's get to it shall we?
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Okay, in my last submission for this series I admitted that my workout routine was basically no more. June saw me breathe life back into it and this was done with the help of Kayla Itsines' well loved Bikini Body Guide. I have been following Kayla Itsines on IG for months now and was always blown away by the stories of hundreds of women across the globe who have managed to revamp their lives and successfully adopt a healthier and stronger way of living. My problem has always been my discipline especially when it comes to food. I really enjoy exercising but I know I do not see the results I want because of the poor choices I make with what I put into my body. I do believe that one day I will master the art of healthy eating consistently but until then I will continue to relish my new, intense, heart-stopping 12 week workout routine that makes me sweat like I'm in the desert all in 28 mins. And what is still baffling me is that Kayla herself is not the one encouraging me to try harder, its that blasted timer of mine and the fear I won't complete at least a full circuit in the allotted time. I am sure all those doing or have done the BBG workout know what I mean.
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This month my level of responsibility has been steadily climbing higher and higher. I am all for changing things up and swing from one one tree branch to another but, that butterfly feeling you get in your tummy sometimes when you are about to do something new and/or daring makes me feel so darn queasy I end up send guessing every single move I make. Very often I can't shake the butterflies - the knots and sensation that I am free-falling 1000s of feet in the air - even if I am the one who wanted to go on the roller coaster or asked to take on more responsibility in the first place. But I plough through it praying to God that I don't mess up... or throw up. I was recently given my first chance to manage a project at work and I was thoroughly excited. But then came 2 more projects and my ability to juggle things was really tested. I am still learning how to keep on top of all the work I am now doing but I can tell you that To Do lists are a life saver. As is taking mini breaks to breathe and calm down if things get a little...tense. Outside of work, I was recently made a Kids Group team leader at my church. Now, I love working and playing with kids. And I have been volunteering at my church's version of Sunday school for well over 3 years now so it made sense that I be given the opportunity to become a team leader. Heck, I even put myself forward or the position. But that did not make accepting the challenge any less scary. It was as if all the time I spent with young children went flying out of the window and I become an inexperienced impostor. My first go as a team leader was last week and I am proud to report that everything went smoothly and was as every other Sunday before that. The kids were are energetic as ever and I was just little ol' me - happy to witness the light, intelligence and wonder a bunch of 3 - 5 year olds possess. All that had changed was my title, nothing else. I need to learn to stop taking things so seriously and just relax enough to appreciate the moment. Sometimes, there really is nothing to worry about.
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Things at home have not been the easiest but I believe things will get better and have decided to hold my head high, and just get on with life. What I am trying not to do though is adapt to the situation I am in and accept that it is the norm. Just like the next person I have dreams that I want to see come to life and hope to find things that I am good at and love to do. And just like some if not most people, I also do not have complete defined clues as to how to make my dreams come true and sometimes struggle to accept that our interests - and in essence our very being - evolves over time. However, with all the hardship, confusion and change what we cannot afford to do is give up on ourselves finding happiness and states of contentment. That would be a grievous crime. So although June has been somewhat overwhelming and I am still attempting to find balance, I have decided to keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust in God that my sun filled days will be more and richer than those cloudy, stormy and outright depressing days.
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Whoop! I am so glad I found a way to get this post up on time despite Blogger messing about with my images - anyone else having this issue? One can only dream that we'll be this organised 90% of the time. With all what I've seen on the news this past month I really do pray that you are all okay and find a reason to smile everyday. I'll catch you in the next Life Edit post.
Mo x